I love black thongs
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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