For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
