yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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