Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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