were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making