the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's not a walk of shame if you run