Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
