I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.