You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize