Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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