you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
