so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
