Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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