That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
