WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
