I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
