you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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