is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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