barbara walters just said penis...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
