i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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