You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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