Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
