Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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