i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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