I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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