When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
