remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I could fuck to npr.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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