I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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