I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My liver is preforming stress tests.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize