He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There r osticjed everywhere
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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