Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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