I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
