she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
