Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
