I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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