There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How does one acquire holy water?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
