I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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