My friends, they love my intelligence
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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