During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
