I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
