Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize