apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
