On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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