Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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