Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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