Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
