I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
