The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there was a trapeze. enough said
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
