I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
