question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I want her autograph on my taint
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
