If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
