Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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