If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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