I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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