He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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