Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
