Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
