I will die if light touches me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
