Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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