After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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