3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have fence marks all over my body
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
