I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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