Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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