I just made out with a guy for $7.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
