if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
