PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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